Beyond pomp & circumstance

Masses of Dutch ‘commoners’ will flock to the streets on 30 April to celebrate Queen Beatrix’s birthday. But who are the Dutch royals, really? Meet some of the Royal Family’s most remarkable members.

Marloes van Amerom

The hidden artist

If Queen Beatrix hadn’t already been destined to be queen then she would probably have become an artist. Claying is one of her favorite pastimes and some of her paintings have been sold at international auctions. Besides her creativity, Bea’s good memory is notorious. Most (prime) ministers fear her sharp tongue when they have forgotten some essential facts and Trixhasn’t. Her perfectionist tendencies have made her pretty popular. ‘At least our queen works,’ the Dutch can be frequently overheard mumbling. Her one known weakness relates to social media. Still denouncing Facebook and Twitter for causing ‘societal isolation’ in 2009, Bea is now a dedicated ‘twitteress.’

Prince Pint

Crown Prince Willem-Alexander was for long known as ‘Prince Pint,’ following several publications of him with pint-in-hand. Many also feared that Alex was not endowed with Trix’s sharp intelligence, unlike his brothers. He obtained his History degree with a mere seven out of ten score. Tongues wagged at his university city in Leiden that the mark had been artificially upgraded to please the House of Orange. But times have changed. Was the Prince still ridiculed in the Nineties for studying a new and curious subject like ‘water management,’ with climate change fears on the rise this specialization of the now proud father-of-three suddenly appears far less foolish, if not reassuring in a rather water-rich country.

The spin-doctor

Former Argentinean banker Princess Maxima quickly obtained Lady Di-like status in the Netherlands. Even discoveries that father Zorreguita had been a minister under Argentina’s former bloody dictator Videla did not really harm her popularity: merely banning him from the royal wedding sufficed. In fact, as soon as Alex introduced the Latina as his fiancée, the Dutch became putty in her hands. Take October 2008. Lovebird Alex was under severe attack for falsely claiming that Maxima’s father was, in fact, innocent. All Maxi had to do was stammer in charmingly faltering Dutch, admitting that her future hubby ‘had been a little bit stupid’ – and all was forgiven. ‘Viva Maxima’ has but one neurosis when it comes to cameras. For yet unknown reasons, Dutch newspapers have been instructed to neverphotograph Maxi with her glasses on – or it would cost them dearly. The quest for suitable glasses may also explain the royal couple’s increasingly costly ‘jet setting’ trips around the world. An initially kept-quiet road accident caused by oversight on Maxi’s part suggests that good glasses may be a wise investment.

The royal rascal

The late Prince Bernard, Beatrix’ father, is whispered to have inspired Ian Fleming’s famous James Bond character. Following his marriage to Princess Juliana the once impoverished German prince certainly accessed a James Bond like lifestyle, characterized by good booze, girls and plain adventure. During the Second World War, the Prince played a pivotal role in the Dutch resistance, although recent research suggests he may also have been spying for the Nazis. In the post-war years, the prince got in trouble after accepting bribes from an arms factory. Following this incident, the Prince happily traveled the world to protect wildlife as Chairman of the World Wide Fund for Nature. On the love front, the prince was also busy, fathering two love children: French Alexia and American Alicia, both recognized in his will.


Her Majesty Beatrix of the Netherlands: leader of the royal pack since 1980.